About 6 years ago, I drove to my then, girlfriend’s house as I had hundreds of free times in the past. (I was staying with an uncle in their estate and of course, use his cars and resources as though it were that of my fathers)
We were planning on going out for dinner that night. (You can imagine how old I was then)
We’d been together for a year + and things were going great.
… At least, that’s what I thought.
When I pulled up beside their house as we both live in the same estate, she hopped into the passenger seat and when I asked if she was ready to go, her response startled me.
“No, actually… ehmmmm Pascal, we need to talk”.
I’m sure you can imagine what came next.
I don’t remember exactly what was said, just that our relationship ended, haba, just like that? I put on a brave face (a total facade), and pretended that I was ok.
I drove home that night and cried myself to sleep.
My whole world was crumbling around me and I didn’t know how I was going to recover. ASUU just started their strike and I am not returning to school as I thought.
I could barely peel myself off of my bed to go to the bathroom… Let alone to eat. Because I was staying with my Uncle’s wife who’s a 8–4 woman, she didn’t notice what was happening at home.
It went on like this for weeks…
I eventually returned to school after the ASUU strike, hollow, empty, and stumbling through my days like a zombie.
One day, something happened.
I don’t remember what caused this epiphany or how exactly I experienced this “aha” moment.
All I remember was the profound sense of peace and determination that overwhelmed me as I sat in my bed putting up some lines of code together.
I brought out my sticky Note and wrote down one simple line that changed the trajectory of my life forever.
“What if the worst thing that happened to me could be transformed into my biggest opportunity?”
The truth of the matter is that I DESERVED to be dumped.
I had lost my backbone. I had no drive, no ambition, and no aliveness.
I wasn’t acting like a man. hahahahhaahhaa
I was a scared little boy who had lucked his way into a relationship with a beautiful woman.
And the second I accepted that fact, my entire life changed.
I proceeded to spend the next several years diving headfirst into the world’s of personal development, social dynamics, and relationships.
I went almost 7 days a week for years, learning to authentically attract the women I desired through honesty and FUN.
I began developing myself, reading more books, attending seminars, going to the gym, and hiring coaches.
I started several businesses and developed an aliveness and passion for life.
I changed EVERYTHING about myself and I have my ex to thank for it.
I didn’t know it when it happened, but that breakup was the SINGLE best thing to ever happen to me.
It made me the man I am today and taught me more lessons that I can recount.
But most importantly, it taught me the skill of transmuting tragedy into triumph and using pain as the fuel to achieve my dreams.
If you’re willing to be open and learn from the pain and trauma in your own life, you might just learn the same thing.
Hope this helps.